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Critical by ~HumbleSage:iconHumbleSage:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Satire > Open


This shit is critical

I mean I'm axiously waiting on
What I've been constantly debating on
Fluctuating between right and wrong
Holding forgotten things on

Uh...

My brain stem sells
Thoughts for misery
Eloping with catastrophe
Spelling out happiness
With E
In a pill

Floating...

Those were the days
Melting away visions
Of ecs(tasty), extramechanically
Wizardry...

Belies me.
Believing.
Piss...

I don't know what I'm saying
Babbling incoherently as if I was
Ruling the fucking nation
Er, damnation, whatever man

Spread me thin
As anorexic angels lap water from
Bottled springs
Inexplicably
Explaining
Harmony with nature's things
Like, uh, water and shit

Oh crap...
I forgot how to spell indigenius
Does that spell disaster for all
Surrounding accounts

Or shall we just sulk and join hands
And think of another march of dimes-like
System to save this fair fucking
Creation

It stinks
You're lame and
Shit-faced miserable

It's pitiful

How this shit is critical.
©2007-2009 ~HumbleSage
:iconhumblesage:

Author's Comments

Yeah... Leave me alone. Not my best piece, but come on. You haven't heard from me in months.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconnearersadismdaily:
~NearerSadismDaily Sep 8, 2007, 12:08:10 AM
Hey, I really like it. For seriously!
:iconhumblesage:
~HumbleSage Sep 8, 2007, 3:18:18 PM
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

--
Gary
"I have no reason to reason." - Gary Jackson 2008
:icondisembodyme:
Mood: Bemused ~DisembodyMe Sep 9, 2007, 11:05:28 AM
I like it, I can relate. I can feel some emotion when I read it, although I can't put my finger on it. There are some points where I think you're rushing through too fast, and you could have used more effective wording. On the other, the "fuck it" nature of the poem could override that. Good one!

--
Camilla: You, sir, should unmask.
Stranger: Indeed?
Cassilda: Indeed, it's time. We all have laid aside disguise but you.
Stranger: I wear no mask.
Camilla: (Terrified, aside to Cassilda.) No mask? No mask!
:iconhumblesage:
~HumbleSage Sep 9, 2007, 10:17:15 PM
Thanks for the comment. Most of my poetry takes a very "rushed" feel. That's just my personality. Probably the most accurate reflection of myself is in my poetry. I like to just spew it all out and move on. :)

--
Gary
"I have no reason to reason." - Gary Jackson 2008
:iconhumblesage:
~HumbleSage Sep 9, 2007, 10:20:02 PM
:glomp:

--
Gary
"I have no reason to reason." - Gary Jackson 2008
:icondyslexistentialism:
~dyslexistentialism Oct 13, 2007, 10:46:59 AM
I like that it's unpolished and irregular, I wouldn't have it any other way.

--
And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear

And if the band you’re in starts playing different tunes
I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon
:iconhumblesage:
~HumbleSage Oct 19, 2007, 9:21:51 PM
Thank you. :)

--
Gary
"I have no reason to reason." - Gary Jackson 2008
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September 7, 2007
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